[Talking on the phone] Did he at least die painlessly? These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. Futurama 06x03: Attack of the Killer App! I've decided to make the fox our new corpora... Oh, I'm sorry, Bender. To shreds, you say. Shut up! Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me! It's a suppository. I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me graft a laser cannon on your chest, to crush those who disobey you! I always thought of it more as a cheap source of labor, like a family. I must find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Try some zinc.Bender: I'm 40% zinc!Amy: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. Professor Farnsworth: But what about your super intelligence?Gunther: When I had that, it was too much pressure to use it. Fry: It really puts you in the Christmas mood.Farnsworth: What-mas?Fry: Christmas! Professor Farnsworth is a senile, deranged, as well as unpredictable old man who is both a maniac and a genius who was born in prison as mentioned in \"Overclockwise\". 12 likes. Good news, everyone! From the perfect one-liners that went on to become memes like "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" to more poignant utterings like "Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark. Mom: Yeah, you better topple.Professor Farnsworth: You always were a hot-blooded Latina.Narrator: Like all reptiles, the Galapagos tortoise is cold-blooded. Ohhh, suddenly you've gone too far. When you pet it, it shoots rainbows from its eyes. In some ways, Futurama's Professor Hubert Farnsworth is like Grandpa on the Simpsons thanks to his being over 160 years old, but his cold demeanor and desire for doomsday weapons sets him apart just enough to make the words he says funny and frightening at the same time. MATH. Leela: Professor, there's nothing wrong with Nectar. Here, let me locate it for you. Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but anchovies went extinct in the 2200s.Fry: Wha?Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Oh... Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great, but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewelry and skintight pants. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs? Thank you for staying with me, Fry.Fry: I'm not Fry, I'm his great-great-grandson, Fry.Professor Farnsworth: Wha?Fry: My beak is different, see. To shreds, You say. Bender: Ah, yes! Quotes by Professor Farnsworth: Futurama [Fry is presented with a large pill he is asked to swallow] Fry: I can't swallow that. It's a suppository. Professor Farnsworth: Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark. [Fry is presented with a large pill he is asked to swallow]Fry: I can't swallow that.Professor Farnsworth: Well, then good news! The toilet. But he's no Clem Johnson. In France they call it a guillotine. But I guess we're just two different people. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I admit it! Oh, I can't do this, Hermes. And then people like me better watch their step. Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one. Talk about a cloaca shrinker. Amy: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Made the poor fella feel better about his pointless job. There's got to be a lady tortoise out there for you, Hubert. Announcer: And the winner is number three, in a quantum finish.Prof. I broke up with my boyfriend and then I ate him!Professor Farnsworth: Oh now, now, we've all been there. Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good Lord! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. I'm a horse's butt!Professor Farnsworth: I am? Professor Farnsworth: I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Bad news, nobody! Aren't those controversial?Professor: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! What an idiot I was! What about her?Professor Farnsworth: Are you crazy? The attention Cobb's receiving is inflating his ego! Today you'll be delivering a crate of subpoenas to Sicily 8, the Mob Planet. They were salty and oily and melted in your mouth...Zoidberg: Okay, okay! If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome. The attention Cobb's receiving is inflating his ego! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe". Contents ©2008-2020 quotational.com | About. They work here in the Slurm factory.Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them. The Swedish robot from pi-kea is here with the supercollider I ordered. Leela: Why are you cheering, Fry? He's good, alright. Farnsworth: I can't live forever and I need an heir. I sold my body.Farnsworth: Sold your body? Not if you believe in it. Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. He has a gift and passion for the creation of Doomsday Devices and Atomic Supermen and is a danger to himself, his employees, as well as the Universe in general. Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. Good news, everyone! McWhiskers". Leela: Professor. That's what being a scientist is all about!Cubert: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about! Fry: I'm impressed. Fry: You look different. It's the Apocalypse all right. Made the poor fella feel better about his pointless job. It's all natural.Professor Farnsworth: So are carrots, but you don't see me injecting them between my toes! His name is Donkey.Professor Farnsworth: Monkeys aren't donkeys. And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. God didn't get to be God by giving away money! The others simply aren't level-headed enough. I hate these nerds. Suddenly I'm going to the bathroom every three hours like clockwork, and those jerks at Social Security stop sending me checks. It evolved a slightly bigger hook over the generations to eat the cactus on this part of the island. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Eat it, everyone who's never won a Nobel's Prize! It worked! It's all the same crap! My people ate them all! It's going totally Kanye! I hate to be the bearer of bad news. A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Farnsworth: Good news, Mom. John Quincy Adding Machine. But unlike Utah, Mars was eventually made livable when the university was founded in 2636. In my time we had no idea Mars had a university.Professor Farnsworth: That's because then Mars was a uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah. Professor: Nothing is impossible! Just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me. Please. Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!Bender: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.Farnsworth: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.Bender: Here it comes.Farnsworth: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.Bender: Thank you and goodnight.Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?Farnsworth: Why, of course! Can we switch back using four or more bodies?Professor Farnsworth: [in Bender's body] I'm not sure.
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